"I'm not sure why but for some reason it makes me feel better than if I just straight up left. There is something about the feeling of hearing their crap and rules beyond the bible and then being able to go home and do as I please."
I think this is the same kind of thrill that some get from stealing and getting away with it. It's the thrill of secretly cheating and getting away with it. Some people steal, cheat on their taxes and commit other criminal cheating acts, not for the material advantage it gives them, but just for the thrill of being able to cheat and get away with it.
If it works for you as an awake JW in helping you keep your sanity, then by all means embrace it. It's one of several coping mechanisms that awake JWs who are trapped can use.
But you're not a true hypocrite. You're just deceitful - justifiably deceitful. A true hypocrite is never honest with himself in acknowledging that he's being a hypocrite. A true hypocrite is blinded by pride and/or self-righteousness from seeing his double-standards.